My Modest Proposal (Post Jonathan Swift)

It seems these days, there are a lot of things that don’t please individuals, groups and society in general. I have noticed that a lot more people are active in their opinions when talking amongst friends and acquaintances. Hearing these complaints out and about, around town and in another city, I feel that it is only right I spread some of my wisdom on the people to set their minds at ease. Let them know the thoughts inside my head. It dawns on me that many citizens are aware and concerned about the happenings around the world. Having watched the events taking place, on the news, in the newspapers and hearing it on the radio, it has come to my attention that people are rightfully worried that nothing is being done to help the people in need.
“This sounds interesting, tell me more.”

Well for you people I have a sweet, modest proposal.
“Thank God.”
Take it from me, I care for your constant worries that wake you from your sleep and block your dreams.
“So what do I do?”
It is quite simple really and it asks from you the bare minimum movement but results in outstanding relief. I urge you to sit in your living room on your comfortable leather sofa, recline the leg rest – oh but before you do this , by all means venture to your kitchen where you can choose from your handmade deluxe mugs, there, that one. The one with the hand crafted, knitted mug cover that helps the mug fit perfectly in your smooth hands and makes it look so beautifully warm and cosy, that looks perfect
“Ok…”
Now pick your most expensive coffee and brew yourself a hot cuppa. Have you done this?
“Yes.”
Good. Now you can take yourself back to the luxurious leather reclining sofa. Whilst you sit back, lay back, be comfortable, so comfortable you could fall asleep.
“Now what?”
Turn on the T.V and flick to the channel of your choice. I say your choice but really the programmes like The Only Way is Essex is probably a wise choice. There is nothing better than watching the rich invest, for this will help you somewhat in deciding what to invest in later on.
“I agree.”
Now if by chance a poor African child staring at you with a single tear rolling down his cheek shows on the screen,
“Oh, God, he’s here, he’s here, I hate watching this.”
Then immediately change the channel.
“What?”
I say this with the utmost sincerity and say so for your benefit. Change the channel to something more uplifting.
“But…”
Although this may sound like an atrocious thing to say or even do for our civilised beings and if you fear that you may conjure up some guilty conscious by doing so, then keep listening for let me continue by saying even before your poor brains are given so much as a chance to feel this guilt, switch the channel. Or even better yet, turn the T.V off for a while.
“Really?”
Yes, let me reason… By doing this, you will not have even seen the issue,
“Ah…”
It will never have crossed your mind and therefore you will not be forced to talk about such things in the social meetings and you will no longer feel pressure that people are not doing anything to help because you will have no knowledge of the situation. You will feel more at peace, but for God’s sake do not watch the news, or read the newspapers, or even listen to the radio! Refrain from doing such activities that will bring you into contact with the world affairs.

If you are smart enough to follow my instructions, in no more than 3 days, you will notice that you will no longer feel this burden that no-one is helping those in need.

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