#0103 Min

They catch each others eyes and start giggling. That soon turns into laughter, but there’s no obvious reason to why they’re laughing. Min sits silently as her hands fold over each other once again like always. She’s not always quiet, only around them. They intimidate her when they’re near and their words are more important to her than her own. She listens, waiting for a chance to talk, to state her mind, to show them she is still present in the room. Now, but they start giggling again. Never has she felt more an outsider. They look at her but quickly turn their eyes away. Min’s mind stirs. What are they thinking about, why isn’t it something that I can relate to?  Why do they do this only when I’m around? Or don’t they… Maybe I’m over thinking this. Min smiles patiently, waiting for them to reveal the joke. To include her, to let her in. The three had once been a close group of friends. They would all laugh together and talk about all the funny things they had done and Min didn’t know when this began to change but it did. After time went on she noticed little things. Like when she would say goodbye they were all too busy talking, and when she spoke, the subject would quickly change. Little things that otherwise she wouldn’t have picked up on. Today though as they sat laughing, the puzzle pieces were fitting together in Min’s mind. Counting each moment of humiliation, she belittled herself. Until she felt like a mucky puddle of leftover rainwater, constantly trodden through yet distinctly avoided. She decided she no longer wanted to play a part in their game. Play the victim, be the victim, to humour them and their sick minds. No more.

Min began to make excuses the next time she saw them. They would fake smiles as they walked pass but Min would fake a smile back. They would bump into one another in the stairwells but Min would rush as if in a hurry. For a while this worked, they were wary around Min, cautious of her actions and her quite obvious avoidance. Eventually they decided not to give any notice, pretended they didn’t know her in corridors and ignored her entirely. This wasn’t what she had hoped for, but as a passive aggressive it was what she got. She wanted them to notice her strange behaviour to realise they were wrong. She wanted an apology. She didn’t expect her actions to be a perfect alibi for them to only get rid of her faster. The truth had revealed itself and Min had not only spent her time on wasted human beings, she had wasted it trying her best to avoid them. Every time she saw them from then on, her toes would curl from hatred. Her chest would clench itself inside yearning to be acknowledged, if not as someone who was once their friend but as another human being. For them it was considerably easy to treat her as invisible, soon they didn’t have to avoid her on purpose, it just so happened they had given up all care.

Min tried to make new friends, share new moments and move on from this but one day, early to class they sat alone in the room with Min. Like normal, they ignored her but she had conditioned herself to ignore being ignored and didn’t let it bother her. Five minutes passed. Min heard a little giggle. She looked up at them as they avoided eye contact. Exchanging whispers and small grins they sat and they giggled. One minute passed. Min glanced their way. Her heart beat faster now and a boiling desire to do something rose. To say something, to do something, anything. She looked at them now, glaring as they sat giggling like school girls around Min. Min didn’t like it, in fact she didn’t think she could stand it any longer. Breathe Min, breathe. She told herself and took a deep breath. They laughed. Min’s gaze shot at the scissors that lay on the lecturers table behind her. She grabbed the scissors and leaped at them. Making sure the last sound that came out of their filthy mouths were those disgusting laughs, Min killed them.

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